A Stamp, Please

Some Advice for Culture Shock in Reverse

1. Don’t lose your sense of humor – make sure you’ve got it ready as you encounter surprises you didn’t expect to have in your own culture. You may be the only one laughing, and you most probably shouldn’t laugh out loud. But nonetheless, a good internal chuckle can help to keep you from buckling under in the shifting sands of culture shock. Because it’s a little rough when you show up at a meeting a couple minutes after the start time and everyone is already moving on to item #2 on the agenda. Am I late, again?!

2. Don’t be afraid to ask questions as you’re trying to figure things out. To everyone else, you look like you know what’s going on – you may be the only one who knows you don’t (this is a good time for one of those internal chuckles). It's important to get back into the life stream here, so no question is a dumb question, right? How do I buy stamps at the post office again and what’s the difference in all the choices?

3. Get used to it – sometimes people will look at you weird. No, the local post office does not know exactly where Kazakhstan is and whether or not your Priority Mail envelope requires a special custom form – sigh – even though you are just mailing signed contracts for your ongoing editorial work with the magazine there. Yes – I can confirm that it’s only a contract, only paper, going into the envelope, but I just don’t want it to get lost on the slow boat to China. Mail is not guaranteed to reach its destination in Kazakhstan. Priority mail helps ensure that it will.

4. Plan extra time at the grocery store, or basically any time you go out to do some shopping. The enormity of choice may overwhelm and you may need that extra time to process and deliberate. There’s also all the new styles and gadgets and products you’ve never seen before and you will want extra time to think it through and decide whether or not you need these items.

5. Take a deep breath and savor every moment of waiting in nice, orderly lines. You may thoroughly delight not only in the orderliness of the lines but also in the quick efficiency with which the lines grow shorter and you are ready to move on to the next item of your agenda for the day.

6. Enjoy the pleasant surprise when the person working in the store approaches you with a warm greeting and asks you if you need any help. You will not be gruffly spoken to or followed around the shop as all your personal space is sucked up by the store employee who locks laser eyes on you and then smacks her lips decisively when you leave the store without buying anything. Here, if you don’t require assistance, you will be left alone to look through the shop at your leisure. And if you leave without buying anything, be prepared to be thanked for stopping in.

7. You can add other errands to your “To Do” list when you go to the DMV. A license renewal or change of address will not require you to set aside half a day (or two or three) in order to drive from one office to the next so you can have this person and that person stamp this document and then stamp that document twice. You will be able to go in, wait in a nice, orderly line, fill in a short document, take a quick eye exam, snap a photo, pay a fee and go home to wait for your new license to be mailed to you in six-weeks-time.

8. People are in a hurry here and the pace of life is fast. Children are taught (as you once were) to be five minutes early so everyone is ready to start on time. Taking extra time with a person for the sake of relationship could make you late, so be careful to keep to the schedule. Here, this is out of respect for everyone involved and time is too valuable to waste.

9. In this fast pace of busy schedules, it may seem like people and relationships (and tea) aren’t important. But this is not true. To create the efficient systems that keep the lines short and orderly and the paperwork and stamps barely noticeable demands a lot of responsible people to be working. Most everyone here does work very hard and would shake their heads with incredible disbelief (as you once did) at the frequency and length of tea breaks commonplace for some during a working day. People respect one another for working hard and that is reflected in their respect for one another’s busy schedules.

10. When you really need time with someone, you just need to let them know. The pace of life doesn’t allow for elaborate dinners that last all evening or “normalna chai” late into the night with friends telling long stories and expounding on life’s meaning. However, no one will turn away a straight-forward and direct request to spend time together. Everyone expects you to be responsible for yourself, so when you need help or need someone to talk with, just ask. People do honestly care about other people and they do really care about you. So even though everyone really is busy, a person will make time for you if you let them know – it really does work, every time.